Let me guess; you have used all your feeding tricks, from serving different cutely shaped pancakes up to motioning a spoon full of rice and veggies (with an airplane sound) directly to your child’s mouth to encourage her to eat. And it ends up that your child still won’t eat any of the served meals, even a bit. It also turns out that rage and frustration bottle up inside you. You can’t figure out how to manage your toddler’s feeding issues.
Dealing with your three-year-old son can be highly frustrating and tiring. You’re pretty unsure whether it’s typically indicated in the common phase they undergo, or it’s a serious problem that needs some professional advice from a doctor.
For most parents, having selective (picky) eating toddlers may be disturbing, and it becomes a top concern since it affects their health and the nutrition they acquire. Various factors may cause the development of this behavior, including parenting styles and feeding practices. We must identify the category of feeding problem that our child has and, from there, formulate some possible actions to fix the issue.
Identifying the Feeding Difficulty Category
According to Benjasuwantep, Chaithirayanon, and Eiamudomkan (2013), feeding difficulties among normal children can be categorized into 4: (1.) normal child with misperceived limited appetite, (2.) vigorous child with little interest in feeding, (3.) highly selective intake, and (4.) excessive or irritational fear of feeding.
A normal child with misperceived limited appetite suggests that he may have a low appetite, yet his nutrition still equates to the required measurement. A vigorous child with little interest in feeding indicates that a child may be easily distracted by the environment and, in turn, lose interest in eating. As for highly selective intake, it’s highly normal among children. It means that the child may be selective, particularly with the taste, texture, smell, and even appearance of the food. Lastly, excessive or irritational fear of feeding refers to a child who may have suffered from a past detrimental oral experience (e.g., choking).
Normal Phase
Usually, you can observe the signs of picky eating problems among children aged 12-18 months (Healthline, 2020). This commonly persists up to 4 and typically disappears when the child reaches 5 (CDC, 2020).
In some cases, picky eating habits or turning one’s back from the table where the food is served may appear to be something serious, but most likely, the child is just manifesting a normal phase along with other children.
What to Do?
1. Let The Child Help in The Kitchen
Children may show varying appetites every day. For them to better explore and be exposed to different kinds of food, it’s essential that we also let them feel independent. It’s a great idea to tag them along with us when shopping for groceries, but since the pandemic happened, it’s not possible anymore. So instead, we can involve them in cooking.
Typically, parents disallow it because some cooking tools may cause danger. Still, with enough supervision, any accidents can be prevented, and seeing it in a better light, your child can enjoy the idea of being independent and, at the same time, will be more likely encouraged to eat.
2. As Much As You Can, Be Calm
When the child shows their worst behavior during mealtime, we shouldn’t react at all. They could strike a full-blown irritational behavior that we don’t want to happen at these times. The more we plea bargains, the more they show stubbornness. I understand where the frustrations of most parents come from when faced with this kind of situation. It’s hard to tame our emotions, but we’ll lose them if we don’t rule them out.
3. Offer At least Two Healthy Options
Forcing children to eat the meals we serve can be emotionally draining. Often, they have limited appetite and particular likeness toward food. It’s essential that they still feel like they are the ones who can decide for themselves and not merely be forced. We can offer them at least two healthy options similar to their favorite food. We can also introduce something new despite their refusal. Some research implies that frequently introducing the food can also attract them to taste it.
According to the American Academy of Practice (2018), it’s the responsibility of the parents to offer food, and it’s on the child whether they will eat the food or not and choose how much food will be consumed.
4. Put Your Attention Towards a 'Weekly' Rather Than a 'Day To Day' Basis
You’ll notice that children usually binge eats only one particular kind of food for three consecutive days or so, and then one day, you’ll be surprised to find them eating a fried chicken. It’s funny that their appetites quickly come and go. Worrying too much will cause you stress and anxiety. Just trust that when your child feels their tummy crumbling, they ‘ll eventually ask for food and eat. Pediatricians suggest that parents should focus more on a ‘weekly’ basis rather than ‘day to day basis.