It might be the arrival of a long-awaited firstborn, or it could be that your best friend has decided to start a family after devoting her life to her job for so long that she has neglected her personal life. Regardless, you can hardly contain your enthusiasm at the prospect of seeing a newborn baby. Here are 8 things you should and should not do when interacting with new mothers and infants.
What To Do & Not to Do When Visiting a New Mom and Infant
1. Please don’t drop by without prior notice
You should probably consider the effects on the mother who is still recovering from childbirth before you go crashing through hospital doors to surprise the newest mama and baby on the street. Sending a quick message to confirm whether or not a visit is welcome and when it would be most practical is preferable to dropping in unexpectedly. If you think they could be sleeping, don’t phone them.
2. DON’T visit if you’re sick
This next one ought to be obvious in a post-pandemic world. Do not come see us if you have a cold or have been sick in the past week. Meet the newest member of the family via video call instead.
3. BRING SOMETHING with you
Asking what the new parents and their infants need is a much more thoughtful gesture than sending flowers. A sushi tray from the new mother’s favorite restaurant will go a long way toward appeasing her postpartum hunger pangs. Sometimes you can just pitch in without being asked, especially if you have an inkling that the new parents are strapped for assistance. The easiest path to a new mother’s heart is through her stomach, whether it’s hot or frigid. Bonus points if the food you provide is lactation-friendly or even promotes nursing.
You could also bring useful necessities like swaddle blankets or diapers that the new parents may have forgotten. Try not to overwhelm them with gifts when you visit the hospital so that they don’t have to worry about carrying anything heavy. Don’t just bring yourself if you want to be polite; bring something else as well.
4. Keep the children at home
It’s natural to want to bring your children along on visits to the new mom and baby. But the new family may not be so welcoming or ready. Avoid putting everyone on the spot by leaving your children at home. If your young child might need help regulating herself, you may opt to ask the new parents if it’s okay that they come along depending on the closeness of your relationship. You can also wait for when the newborn is a bit older, not as fragile, and the new parents are more confident.
5. DON’T kiss the infant
It’s easy to develop baby fever—they’re so cute and enticing, you could practically want to gobble them all up. A newborn’s immune system isn’t as robust as yours, so think twice before you reach out and smother them with kisses. You might potentially pass on viruses from a cold that hasn’t fully developed in yourself.
Wait for the mother to ask whether you can hold the baby before you start giving her kisses. Don’t try to be a superwoman and soothe the baby if it starts crying in your arms. To prevent more distress for either baby or parent, please return him to his mother in a gentle manner. Hearing her baby cry from afar is the last thing a new mother needs.
6. DO wash your hands
Whether or not a new mom asks if you want to hold the baby, when visiting, always make sure you are clean and germ-free. Wash your hands upon entering their home or hospital room. Speaking of hospitals, use a mask as an added layer of protection when near or carrying newborns. You may also offer to take your shoes off if you’re visiting them at home. Bottom line, be respectful.
For someone on the outside looking in, it’s easy to miss basic manners for new moms and newborns. Some unstated norms may not even seem straightforward. No one wants to feel like they are forcing themselves on a new mother and her baby, but it is helpful to be considerate of their needs. If all else fails, just follow the golden rule and treat other mothers the way you’d like to be treated.