While it’s impossible to shield your kids from every obstacle, you can help them learn to thrive in the face of adversity.
Has your child ever thrown a tantrum because he couldn’t handle the overwhelming amount of homework he was given? Does she become anxious when she has to learn anything new, like a new piece of piano music? Does she get upset by criticism?
As a parent, you may wish you had better tools at your disposal to assist your child in weathering the storms of homework, puberty, peer pressure, and cyberbullying. There will be additional stressful situations, such as work pressure, loss of a loved one, or strained personal relationships, to face as adults.
Since we can’t prevent these events from happening, the next best thing is to teach our kids resilience, the ability to bounce back quickly from adversity.
Resilience through Adversity
Did you know that those who are resilient can strengthen their defenses in the face of adversity? Understanding one’s emotional state and actively working to control it is an essential first step in overcoming adversity.
Here are some options:
1. Set a Good Example
Show your kids that you understand your feelings and that you can utilise positive emotions to overcome adversity.
When parents remain calm and flexible in managing life’s challenges, they are teaching their children positive ways to handle stress. For Example: “Oops, I just made a mistake but I can learn from this and make up for this by doing…” is a great way for parents to demonstrate responsibility and growth from setbacks.
You may also demonstrate to him that stress is natural and that it can be managed effectively and healthily by actions like going for a jog.
Children imitate what they see.
2. Increase Their Confidence
Numerous studies have pointed to the importance of involved and positive parenting in building resilient kids . While negative parenting practices like rejection and punishment are closely linked to decreased resilience, the good effects of parenting on a child’s sense of self-worth and ability to accomplish goals are amplified.
Focus on your child’s successes rather than dwelling on his or her failures. Avoid labeling them as lazy, bad, or foolish. Tell your kid that you don’t like the action, not the kid. Convince him that the issue is not with him but with his behaviour.
You can help your kid figure out what he’s good at by encouraging him to try out a variety of pursuits. Tell him that it’s okay to be proud of his accomplishments because everyone has their own areas of strength.
Never overlook an opportunity to compliment your child on any accomplishment, no matter how minor. The positive behaviour is reinforced, his motivation is boosted, and his self-esteem rises as a result.
3. Promote flexible thinking through solving on real-life problems
You may help Junior and his cousin work out their differences by pointing out the root of the conflict (e.g., “You both want the same toy and that’s making you angry”) and then suggesting possible resolutions together. Constant “practice” equips kids with a toolbox of established strategies they can use even when no one’s watching.
Take some time to sit down with your kid and show him how to recognise an issue. Create a list of potential answers, and hope for the best. He’ll figure out how to do it on his own in due time.
Making Opportunities Out of Threats
Even those with little resilience can learn to control their feelings by reframing risks as “challenges” or chances from which they can grow. To become more resilient, it is essential to learn to reframe adversity.
Here are some options:
1. Foster Self-Directed Education
By not hovering over our kids too much, we can set up some mild “challenges” for them. Foster your child’s sense of autonomy by giving them opportunities to learn new skills on their own. Don’t rush in to save your kid every time they get in trouble. Keep an eye out for signs of unusual tension, as this could mean the activity is too challenging for them at this stage of development.
2. Show them a new way to look at failures
Although it may seem cruel, letting your kids “fail” or make mistakes at a young age might make them stronger adults. Present “failure” or mistakes as a necessary step in the learning process rather than a devastating setback.
3. Learning to Cope with Stress
Stress can have negative effects on a child’s physical, emotional, social, and intellectual health. Teach your youngster the coping mechanisms he’ll need to meet his challenges head-on.
Help your youngster learn healthy coping mechanisms:
Get Some Rest
Ensure that your kid receives a good night’s sleep every single night. Set and stick to consistent bedtime and wake-up hours.
Relax
Your youngster can improve his disposition and calm down by engaging in activities he enjoys, such as playing outside with friends or listening to music.
Train Him to Take Criticism Well
Tell your kid that no one is perfect and that we can all grow from the criticism we receive, whether it comes from classmates, teachers, or other parents.
Create a Habit
Children thrive on order and consistency. Explain the situation to your kid. Because of this, he feels less helpless and stressed out.
Instill the Ability to Solve Problems
Sit down with your kid and show him how to figure out what’s wrong, what could possibly fix it, and what would work best. In time, he’ll figure it out on his own.
Get some help
If your child is having difficulties, you should encourage him to talk to an adult he trusts in a variety of situations. Assist him in pinpointing potential confidantes (such a teacher or guidance counselor) and practicing approaches of reaching out for support.
Your kid will be better able to handle difficult situations by learning to control his or her feelings and cope with stress.