Getting Pregnant Is Not Always Easy: The Reality Many Singaporean Couples Face

For many couples, having a baby is something they imagine will happen naturally when the time is right.

Finish school. Build a career. Get married. Buy a home. Become financially stable. Then, when everything seems ready, start trying for a baby.

But sometimes, the positive pregnancy test does not come.

One month passes. Then another. Then another.

What was supposed to be an exciting journey can slowly become a source of anxiety, disappointment and even guilt.

For many Singaporean couples, the reality is that getting pregnant is not always as easy as people assume.

Singapore’s fertility numbers reflect a broader change in how and when people are having children. The resident total fertility rate fell to a preliminary 0.87 births per female in 2025, down from 0.97 in 2024. At the same time, Singapore’s fertility pattern has shifted towards later childbearing. In 2025, the highest age-specific fertility rate was among women aged 30–34, rather than women in their 20s as was more common in earlier decades.

But behind these statistics are couples with deeply personal stories.

The Pressure to “Start a Family”

In Singapore, many couples spend their 20s and early 30s focusing on education, careers, housing and financial security.

There are good reasons for this.

Housing is expensive. Careers take time to establish. Many couples want to feel financially prepared before bringing a child into the world.

The result is that some couples begin trying for their first child later.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be financially or emotionally ready. However, fertility does not always follow the same timeline as career and financial planning.

Fertility generally declines with age, particularly for women. This does not mean that becoming pregnant in the 30s or later is impossible. Many women have healthy pregnancies during these years. But age can affect the chances of conception and the likelihood that fertility treatment will be successful.

Singapore’s own data illustrates this difference. Ministry of Health figures for 2017–2021 showed average Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) success rates of 24.0% for women below 30, 22.7% for those aged 30–34, 17.2% for those aged 35–39, and 6.4% for those aged 40 and above.

These figures are averages, not predictions for an individual woman. But they demonstrate an important point: waiting can sometimes make the journey more difficult.

Infertility Is Not Simply a “Women’s Problem”

One misconception that needs to change is that fertility problems are mainly a woman’s issue.

Pregnancy involves two people.

Problems affecting sperm production, sperm quality, reproductive anatomy and other male factors can also contribute to difficulty conceiving. Female factors can include ovulation problems, age-related changes, blocked fallopian tubes and other reproductive conditions.

Sometimes, both partners may have contributing factors. And sometimes, no obvious cause is identified.

That is why fertility concerns should not automatically become a conversation about what the woman is doing wrong.

Instead, fertility should be approached as a couple’s health issue.

When Trying Becomes Emotionally Exhausting

There is also an emotional side to infertility that statistics cannot fully capture.

At first, trying for a baby can feel exciting.

Then the period comes.

Again.

And again.

Every month can bring a mixture of hope and disappointment.

Pregnancy announcements from friends may become difficult to process. Baby showers can feel emotionally overwhelming. Questions from relatives such as “When are you having children?” may seem harmless to the person asking, but painful to a couple who has already been trying for months or years.

The couple may also start questioning themselves.

“Is something wrong with me?”

“Why is everyone else getting pregnant?”

“Did we wait too long?”

“Should we have started earlier?”

These thoughts can create enormous emotional pressure.

And fertility treatment can bring another layer of stress. Couples may have to balance medical appointments, injections, procedures, work commitments, financial considerations and the emotional uncertainty of waiting for results.

Singapore Has Support for Couples Facing Fertility Challenges

The good news is that couples in Singapore do have access to fertility treatment and government support.

Assisted Reproductive Technology includes treatments such as IVF. The government provides co-funding for eligible couples undergoing ART at public Assisted Reproduction centres, while MediSave can also be used for assisted conception procedures within applicable limits and rules.

The financial aspect is still important to consider.

MOH reported in 2024 that the cost of IVF cycles at public Assisted Reproduction centres had increased by approximately 2% per year over the previous decade.

This means fertility planning should not only be about biology.

It can also become a financial planning issue.

Couples may need to consider medical expenses, time away from work, repeated treatment cycles and the possibility that treatment may not work the first time.

Interestingly, MOH data from 2017–2021 found that around 1% of women who had attempted ART had used all six co-funded ART cycles without achieving a successful live birth. Of those women, approximately half went on to pursue another ART cycle without co-funding.

Behind every percentage is a person, a couple and a family hoping for a child.

Fertility Should Be Part of the Conversation Earlier

The answer is not to pressure every young Singaporean to have children immediately.

People have different priorities, circumstances and timelines.

But fertility should be part of informed family planning.

If having children is an important goal, couples should understand that financial readiness and biological readiness are not always perfectly aligned.

This does not mean rushing into parenthood.

It means having honest conversations.

How many children do we hope to have?

When would we ideally like to start trying?

What happens if pregnancy does not happen naturally?

Would we consider fertility assessment or treatment?

How much would we be comfortable spending on treatment?

These are difficult questions, but discussing them earlier can help couples make decisions with greater awareness rather than discovering the challenges only after they have become urgent.

Don’t Turn Fertility Into a Competition

Perhaps the most important message is this:

A couple struggling to conceive is not failing.

Pregnancy is not a reward for being healthy, financially successful or ready.

And infertility is not a reflection of someone’s worth.

Singapore’s falling fertility rate is often discussed as a demographic or economic issue. But at the individual level, fertility is deeply personal.

There are couples who desperately want children but cannot conceive easily.

There are couples who undergo IVF.

There are couples who experience pregnancy loss.

There are couples who eventually become parents after years of trying.

And there are couples whose journey takes a different path altogether.

We should be careful not to judge any of them.