It's never easy to be a parent. In reality, becoming a parent is one of the hardest and most difficult things you'll ever do, especially in the beginning when you're still learning the ropes.
Having children is a life-changing experience, and no one enters the role of parenthood fully prepared. The most effective parents, however, never stop striving to do better.
Making the decision to better yourself as a parent by seeking out information is a great starting step. You obviously care about how you connect with and raise your children; this is most certainly the most crucial aspect of being a good parent.
Parents who are struggling with their parenting obligations or who are too overwhelmed to strive to improve may be having a detrimental effect on their children. Negative experiences can have lasting effects on a child’s developing brain, according to studies in neuroscience.
But being a good parent may counteract those disadvantages, and developing your strengths as a parent is an excellent place to begin. If you want to be a better parent for your kids, here are six actions you can take right now to start making progress.
1. Don't Ignore Your Children
You might have been so preoccupied with work that you’ve missed your kids trying to get your attention? To put your mind at ease, remember that even the most skilled of us are not exempt to such mishaps. But while you’re with your kid, it’s important to focus on them and not let anything — not work, not laundry, not your phone — interrupt your time together.
Learn as much as you can about your children’s hopes, fears, and anxieties. Even if they don’t respond to you or try to avoid your questions, listen carefully and keep asking them. By exhibiting concern, you communicate your affection for and regard for their feelings and thoughts.
To be an active listener also is to pay attention to what is being said without formulating a response in your head. The key is to read nonverbal signs and observe body language.
Getting down on your child’s level and looking them in the eye is a great approach to show that you’re paying attention. This may necessitate stooping to their level. Make direct eye contact with your children and give them your undivided focus.
When someone is sad, the simplest gestures, such as caressing their arm or holding their hand, can show them that they have your complete attention and that you understand how they are feeling.
2. Stand firm On Your Rules
It is your responsibility as a parent to model appropriate behavior for your children. So when you screw up, lose your temper, or do something else wrong, just admit it. Show others how to say sorry, accept blame, and make apologies.
Additionally, you should guarantee that your discipline is both solid and adjustable. Example: there will be moments when you tell your kids “no” and really mean it. At some other instances, you may feel regret for having spoken too harshly or having reacted hastily.
If you decide to adjust your rules, be sure to acknowledge your mistake and provide an explanation. Keep in mind, too, that none of us is perfect. Therefore, you shouldn’t be timid about making that confession.
When the offense justifies the punishment, however, it is important to stand firm. Children are astute observers and will take advantage of any discrepancies they see. In the end, rules need to be enforced in order to be effective. And unless you have a compelling cause to deviate from the rules set in your home, you should adhere to them as well.
3. Aim to Set a Good Example
Never set a bad example for your kids by engaging in behavior that you disapprove of. It’s a good idea to improve your responses to challenging situations if you see you’re modeling behavior you don’t want your child to adopt. The actions you take rather than the words you use will be the ones that your children mimic.
Keep in mind that your kids are observing you going to work every day. They watch while you make dinner, do the laundry, and pay the bills. Therefore, it’s vital that they see you handling your obligations competently. Keep in mind that you aren’t aiming to set an example of flawless behavior, but rather, you are trying to instill in them the values of honesty, accountability, and hard effort.
4. Keep an Open Mind
Unrealistic expectations and ambitions can be a source of stress for parents, and their children. It’s times like this that parenthood might feel like a lot to handle. If this is something you experience frequently, it may be time to keep an open mind and practice some flexibility with yourself, your children, and your parenting style.
Being a parent who strives for perfection is difficult. Parents that fall into this category not only exert enormous pressure on their children to achieve perfection but also worry constantly that they will ruin their lives in the process. Also, they have unrealistically high standards for themselves.
Similarly, if you’re a perfectionist, you might fret about being judged or disgraced by other parents. Some parents worry that their children aren’t progressing as quickly as they should in some areas, such as toilet training or academics. If your child is set up to fail because of your high expectations, the pressure you provide could backfire.
One must pause and assess whether or not their expectations are reasonable.
In a similar vein, keep an open mind and let go of short-term concerns. The more flexible you are, the better off you and your children will be.
5. Take Charge of Your Emotions
When parents lose their cool in front of their children, especially young children, the results can be frightening and upsetting. Don’t let your kids see you act childishly or respond emotionally while dealing with conflict with anyone, whether it’s a customer support representative on the phone or your partner.
When you lose your temper, become angry, or start a fight, you’re modeling bad behavior for your kids. Show instead that you can remain level-headed under pressure and think up new solutions to issues. Doing so exemplifies emotionally intelligent behavior.
If you lose your temper, it’s important to acknowledge your part in the situation and apologize. This is another way to set a good example.
Be a Good Parent
Always keep in mind that being a good parent is not the same as being a perfectionist parent. It’s great that you want to become a better parent, but you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself if you make mistakes. There is no such thing as a perfect parent.
Also, remember that the occasional slip-up won’t have any lasting impact on your child. It’s best to take responsibility for your actions, make amends if necessary, and move on. Nevertheless, always make sure to be present, firm, and loving with your children at all times.