Giving your child the freedom to choose may be one of the best things you can do for him. It teaches him to think for himself, it makes him feel important and it lets him know that you trust his judgement. But it can also be the most difficult lesson a parent has to learn. Let’s face it, we all want our children to make good choices. We want them to eat right, study hard, respect their elders and not lie or steal. So how do we teach them right from wrong without stifling their creativity and individuality?
Trust your child
Over the past several decades, parents have increasingly controlled their children’s activities and personal time. Kids today are rebellious, addicted to social media, and disrespectful to their parents. They need to be trusted with enough independence, so they don’t rely on their phones whenever they’re alone. Lack of trust increases the likelihood of rebellion and hostility from children if you don’t allow them some independence; these are only a few arguments in favor of allowing children some freedom.
It's between you and your child
As a starting point, trust is a significant problem in the relationship between parents and their children. Relationships can’t function properly without trust. Young children sometimes wander the neighborhood without informing their primary caregivers. This is the ideal example of how quickly trust can be broken and rights revoked. Their only crime was that they were innocent children who wanted to explore but were promptly punished for their ignorance.
Give them the right amount of affection
Parents showing too much affection to their children often leads to rebellion. Drugs, deceit, alcohol, or worse are likely to follow. Most kids today have to meet their parent’s expectations, and if they don’t, they’re usually grounded. If a child is grounded for an extended period of time, they may feel trapped and rebel as a result.
Therefore, parents should allow their children adequate freedom, so they are not too nasty and unpleasant towards them. Many children may argue back at their parents when told they can’t do something.
Telling them what to do is an obvious no-no. Children don’t learn by being told what they should do; they learn by doing and making mistakes along the way. The only way they can learn what’s right for them is by trying out different things and figuring out what works and what doesn’t for them personally. Allow your children to make mistakes and take responsibility for their actions. Being able to own up when you have made a mistake will go a long way towards building character in your child. Expectations are tricky things. It is perfectly normal for parents to have certain expectations of their children… but there is a fine line between having expectations, which helps kids feel secure, and imposing those expectations onto kids that make them feel chained.
If you want your kids to be happy and successful as adults, give them the tools they need by letting them make their own choices and mistakes. Then help guide them back on track if they stumble along the way.