I’m a Full-Time Working Mum in Singapore. Does That Make Me a Bad Mother?

It is 7:30 in the morning.

You are getting the kids ready, checking whether everyone has eaten breakfast, making sure school bags are packed, replying to a work message and mentally going through everything that needs to happen that day.

Then you leave for work.

Maybe your child cries when you leave. Maybe you miss a school activity because of a meeting. Maybe you arrive home exhausted and realise that you only have a few hours—or less—before bedtime.

And somewhere in between work deadlines, household responsibilities and parenting, a difficult thought appears:

“Am I a bad mum because I work full-time?”

If you are a working mother in Singapore and you have asked yourself this question, you are far from alone.

The reality is that working and caring for a family can place enormous demands on the same limited hours of the day. Feeling conflicted about those demands does not automatically mean you are doing something wrong.

The Reality of Being a Working Mum in Singapore

Singapore has seen more women remaining in the workforce while managing caregiving responsibilities.

According to the Ministry of Manpower (MOM), the labour force participation rate among female residents aged 25 to 64 increased from 76.1% in 2019 to 80.5% in 2025. MOM has also acknowledged that women with caregiving responsibilities can feel as though they are forced to make a “zero-sum choice” between caring for loved ones and pursuing their careers.

That tension is important to recognise.

You may want to progress professionally and still want to be there for every important moment in your child’s life.

You may enjoy your career and still miss your children during the day.

You may appreciate having childcare support and still feel guilty about needing it.

These feelings can exist together.

And they do not determine whether you are a good mother.

Working Is Also One Way of Caring for Your Family

It is easy to separate “work” and “parenting” as though the hours spent at the office have nothing to do with caring for your children.

But for many families, that simply isn’t true.

Your income may help pay for your family’s home, groceries, healthcare, childcare, enrichment activities, education and savings.

Your career may also contribute to your own financial independence and longer-term security.

MOM has specifically highlighted the importance of helping caregivers remain employed, noting that staying in work can provide a reliable foundation for their longer-term financial security.

So instead of thinking:

“I am spending eight or nine hours away from my child.”

You might also recognise:

“Some of those hours are part of how I provide for my child.”

That does not mean money replaces your presence. It simply means providing for a family takes many forms.

Your Children Are Learning From You Too

Children do not only learn from what their parents tell them.

They learn from what they see.

When they see Mum going to work, keeping commitments, solving problems, learning new skills and contributing to the household, they are being exposed to important lessons about responsibility and independence.

There will still be days when you wish you had more time.

But being a working mum does not mean you are choosing your career instead of your children.

For many mothers, the real situation is much more complicated.

You are trying to build a life in which your family is cared for while maintaining a career and identity of your own.

You Don’t Have to Be Available Every Minute

Modern parenting can sometimes create an impossible standard.

Make healthy meals.

Attend school activities.

Help with homework.

Keep the house organised.

Spend quality time together.

Exercise.

Maintain your marriage or relationships.

Perform well at work.

And somehow remain patient and cheerful through all of it.

No one can perform every role perfectly every day.

Instead of measuring motherhood by the total number of hours you spend with your children, pay attention to what happens during the time you do have together.

Twenty minutes of genuine conversation can matter.

Eating dinner without constantly checking your phone can matter.

Reading a bedtime story can matter.

Listening carefully when your child wants to tell you about school can matter.

Small routines repeated consistently can become some of a child’s strongest memories.

Make Your Support System Part of the Plan

Working full-time does not mean you have to do everything yourself.

Support might come from your spouse, grandparents, childcare centres, domestic helpers, relatives or trusted friends.

Accepting help does not make you less of a parent.

It allows your child to have more caring adults around them while helping you manage the practical realities of working and raising a family.

Where possible, parenting responsibilities should also be discussed between partners rather than automatically falling on Mum.

Singapore has gradually expanded support around working parenthood. For example, eligible working parents of Singapore citizen children below seven can receive six days of paid childcare leave each year, while eligible parents whose youngest Singapore citizen child is aged seven to 12 may receive two days of extended childcare leave.

For children born from 1 April 2026 onwards, eligible parents also have 10 weeks of shared parental leave to divide between them.

These policies reflect an important reality: raising children and maintaining a career should not be treated as a mother’s responsibility alone.

Ask Whether Flexible Work Could Help

Sometimes the problem isn’t necessarily working full-time. It is the way those working hours are structured.

Perhaps starting earlier would allow you to pick your child up from school.

Maybe working from home occasionally would remove commuting time.

Perhaps staggered hours would make mornings less stressful.

Singapore’s Tripartite Guidelines on Flexible Work Arrangement Requests have been in effect since December 2024. They establish a formal process through which employees can request flexible work arrangements and employers can properly consider those requests.

Flexible arrangements are also increasingly common. MOM reported that 72.5% of private companies offered at least one scheduled flexible work arrangement in 2024, up from 68% in 2023.

Not every job can offer the same flexibility, of course. But if your current schedule is creating unnecessary strain, it may be worth having a conversation with your employer.

Stop Comparing Your Motherhood With Someone Else’s

This may be one of the hardest habits to break.

You see another mum preparing elaborate lunchboxes.

Someone else seems to attend every school event.

Another mother has chosen to stay home.

Meanwhile, you are answering emails on the MRT wondering whether you remembered to sign your child’s school form.

But you rarely see the full picture behind someone else’s family.

Every household has different finances, careers, support systems, children and circumstances.

There is no universal arrangement that proves someone is a “good mother.”

A stay-at-home mum can be a wonderful mother.

A part-time working mum can be a wonderful mother.

And a full-time working mum can be a wonderful mother too.

Ask a Better Question

Instead of repeatedly asking:

“Am I a bad mum because I work?”

Try asking:

“Is the way our family is living right now working for us?”

That question is much more useful.

Maybe the answer is yes.

Maybe your children are happy, your family is financially stable, you have reliable childcare and your career gives you fulfilment.

Or maybe something needs adjusting.

Perhaps you need clearer boundaries with work.

Perhaps responsibilities at home need to be shared more fairly.

Perhaps you need to use your childcare leave without feeling guilty about it.

Perhaps you need to request flexible working arrangements.

Or perhaps you simply need to stop expecting yourself to perform two full-time roles perfectly at the same time.

Changing something does not mean you have failed.

It means you are paying attention to what your family needs.